Marge

Instead of effusing about my mom, who I affectionately call “Marge” of “Ma”, I thought I’d create a tangible list of the value she has brought to my life and the lessons she has taught me. Brace yourselves; it’s a long list.


  1. Be polite.
  2. Respect yourself and others.
  3. Read.
  4. Put butter on the outside of the bread when making a grilled cheese; not the inside.
  5. Make your bed.
  6. Get enough sleep.
  7. Don’t be reckless.
  8. Take responsibility for your actions, both good and bad.
  9. Not everything is black and white.
  10. Win at all costs. Just kidding. But enjoy winning.
  11. Earn your allowance.
  12. Don’t swallow bubble gum.
  13. Go for regular walks.
  14. Do what you have to do to survive.
  15. Pack lighter than you think you need to.
  16. Communicate face-to-face for important matters.
  17. Spend time with friends that appreciate you.
  18. It’s never too late to try something new.
  19. The beach can be heaven.
  20. Red wine is delicious.
  21. Classic rock from the 1970s is the best.
  22. Pay your bills on time.
  23. Travel, but live within your means.
  24. Don’t say anything by text you wouldn’t say to someone’s face.
  25. Money doesn’t buy happiness.
  26. Don’t smoke cigarettes.
  27. Buy new gym shoes regularly.
  28. Stick to your guns about what’s important to you.
  29. Black coffee is delicious.
  30. Never settle when it comes to romantic relationships.
  31. Be generous; no one likes a mizer.
  32. Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall is the hottest Brad Pitt.
  33. Don’t peel off no-chip nail polish.
  34. Steak is delicious.
  35. Turtlenecks are a staple.
  36. Manage your expectations.
  37. New Year’s Eve is not my holiday.
  38. Tip well, even if the service isn’t great.
  39. Be nice to your siblings.
  40. Show up early.
  41. Use coasters.
  42. Express gratitude.
  43. Chocolate and peanuts are a great combination.
  44. Words With Friends is futile against her.
  45. Christmas music is the best.
  46. Leave for the airport at least two hours early.
  47. You can never have too many scarves.
  48. Board games are fun at any age.
  49. Unconditional love is real.
  50. Be a lady.

Thank you Ma, for being the best Marge any person could ever ask for and for shaping me into a mildly successful, decent person. Love you! Happy Mother’s Day!


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