Dread. By the end of the workday, I was dreading a date planned for later in the evening. My gut knew he was not a good fit for me. I toyed with canceling up until about an hour beforehand. I decided to go forward with it to break my patterns and be more open-minded. Plus, my colleagues were encouraging me to put myself out there.
When I arrived at the meeting place, I was about 10 minutes early. I was apprehensive about being there. When he walked up, I just knew immediately. His voice was almost shrill and in one sentence, I heard approximately five or six “likes”. It went downhill from there. I ended up excusing myself and gave the waitress cash for my unfinished cider beer. I blocked his number and unmatched him, but first sent him a text:
I’m sorry. I’m heading home. It’s not the right fit. I gave the server cash for my cider. Good luck to you.
I booked it out of there. Left my mom a funny voicemail. Texted my friends. Walked home so quickly I have a callous on my heel.
Before I share my deeper thoughts about this experience, I do want to mention that this was a nice person in general. The only derision he deserves is for his lack of tact. He wasn’t being purposely disrespectful. I also am aware that my deal breakers are different than others. For example, if you don’t read, it’s game over. I sensed from his grammar issues when we texted that he wasn’t a reader. This was confirmed in conversation with all the “likes” and “uhs”. I wasn’t loving his assertion that good food and drink aren’t worth the money. But that’s just me.
Overall, I think he has a lot to learn about general dating etiquette and I hope that my insights might be valuable for those dating out there. Or at least it will give you a chuckle!
- Listen. After a few days of texting, he was already repeating questions to me, which he also did in person. I’m not sure why you can’t remember if I like shots or not, if I have any siblings, or if I cook, but I would suggest making an effort to absorb the information someone shares with you.
- Be considerate. It’s probably not a great idea to say you dislike people that share the same profession as your date. I get that not all recruiters are fantastic, but I certainly didn’t appreciate being lumped in with them, especially when he never asked before about my career (just if I like shots, ha!).
- Don’t overshare. Sometimes, we are in transition in life, however, it’s not much of a turn-on to tell your date that you sleep on a couch, don’t cook or clean, and aren’t particularly motivated in your job.
- Have a hobby. I am a busy, professional woman. On top of a very dynamic career, I write this blog, I read frequently, and I do my research on various topics. I also exercise, see my friends and family, and cultivate my passions. If you’re texting me morning, noon, and night, it leads me to believe you don’t have enough going on.
At the end of the day, my gut was totally right, but I am proud of myself for putting myself out there, not canceling, being honest with this person, and for learning something from it, like people like really like want to know like if I like shots. Like.
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